Here’s the final installment of Deborah Day’s 5 tips to put an end to self-sabotage.
5. Choose Your Friends
Another hugely powerful key to stop sabotaging yourself is to be more selective in your relationships. Who are the people you spend most of your time with? How is the quality of these relationships? Do these relationships help you be a better person? Do these relationships encourage you or do they drain you? Are you doing more giving than receiving? These are important questions to ask.
Our friendships mirror us. They are reflections of who we are at some level. It is imperative that you take responsibility in all your relationship choices. Are your friendships in alignment with your values? Are they helping or hindering you in achieving your goals? The people you choose to spend close personal time with need to be people that encourage you more than discourage you. You do have the ability to manage who you give your energy to and who you don’t.
I often hear people say “well, you can’t pick your family,” which is true; however, that doesn’t mean you have to tolerate hurtful or inappropriate behaviors. Even with family you have to learn to set limits and boundaries. You can control how much time you spend with them and what activities you are comfortable participating in with them. You can create safer ways to interact with family members without having to extract them from your life.
The crux of how you can stop sabotaging yourself is to start living intentionally and on purpose. Stop just reacting to life and start paying attention. That is the essence of being the active director of your life—paying attention. Being aware of your internal dialogue, silencing your inner critic, identifying your values and goals, paying attention to your behaviors and being selective in your relationships is always your responsibility no matter what the circumstances are in your life. By consciously focusing on these five areas, you will start to feel more satisfied.
Life ebbs and flows, sometimes in more pleasant ways than other times. Although there are many things about life in general that you cannot control, no matter what is occurring you always have the choice of how to respond. I think one’s true character comes out during these difficult times. The more intentional you have been living when times are good, the better you will do during the difficult moments.
It is better to be more proactive than reactive to what life throws your way. Sitting in the director’s chair in your life is the best avenue to feeling more self-directed. As you live more on purpose, you will feel more at peace with yourself and often with others. Choose to live each day knowing that you and your life are your responsibility and that you deserve to live as full and complete as possible.
Written by: Deborah Day, M.A., Author of Be Happy Now! Become the Active Director of Your Life. A Self-Improvement Handbook.
Visit Author Deborah Day’s official website on: www.deborahdayma.com
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