Here’s the second part of Xlibris author Betty Collier’s blog.
My passion for increasing awareness of this silent disease took me beyond the inspirational stories I wrote about to the rain soaked streets of Nashville where I ran with Team Sjögren’s in April, 2013 at the Country Music Marathon and Half Marathon. What better way to increase awareness of the disease I wrote about than to commit myself to train with Team Sjögren’s and join them in one of the most memorable events of my entire lifetime. When I crossed the finish line, it was the culmination of what I had begun in September 2011, when I first began my journey writing the book.
What I didn’t realize was that I had become much stronger than I thought due to my encounter with the five fabulous women in the book. Because of their strength and determination, I continued training for my first half-marathon even though I was suffering a great deal of ankle, knee, and hip pain. I simply thought I was being wimpy and often wondered why I couldn’t run like all the others without so much pain. After several trips to a sports medicine physician and conservative treatment, I was advised to quit running and take up swimming instead. But I persevered because I had committed to Team Sjögren’s, and there was no way I was going to let down the team. It wasn’t until I continued experiencing pain a month after I completed the half marathon that I had an MRI which revealed I had torn the meniscus in my right knee while training. I was elated to learn I wasn’t a wimp after all; I had actually completed a half marathon with a torn meniscus! However, I was saddened to know surgery would be the only way to fix my ailing knee.
Coping with and learning from pain through writing
While admiring the fab five in the book and all the obstacles they had to overcome, I once again found myself reflecting back over the past 2 years. It was then that I realized I had endured many obstacles myself. I learned from their resilience not to let things defeat me either. I had gone through personal battles of my own which could have hindered me from writing. Both my dearly loved father and father-in-law passed away within a nine-month period while I was working on the book. My focus was lost in my overwhelming grief, but eventually my passion for writing helped me deal with it.
Just four months after burying my father, my heart was broken again as I had to accept the tragic death of a dear friend who left two small children behind and a lot of unanswered questions. It was extremely difficult to hold it together and conduct interviews with the fab five during this gut-wrenching time in my life. I have come to realize there are many things beyond our control, sometimes well beyond what the human mind can comprehend. Learning to accept what I cannot change is not only part of the “Serenity Prayer” but also something I witnessed for myself while performing those same interviews with the fab five during such a tumultuous period.
A month after my friend’s death, my beloved mother received a shocking diagnosis of breast cancer and had surgery immediately. Just two short weeks after I took her home following the surgery, I found myself lying on an ultrasound table (after a suspicious mammogram) with a radiologist looking at me and saying, “Uuuum… I can’t really tell what this is. I think we need to go ahead and do a biopsy of your breast to be sure it’s not cancer.” So as I continued to hastily work on the book to have it ready to unveil at the 2013 Sjögren’s Syndrome Foundation National Patient Conference, I had to endure several mammograms and ultrasounds, a regular biopsy and an excisional biopsy, and ultimately surgery to remove what they believed to be a phyllodes tumor. All the while, my heart was tugging at me to finish the book because I knew there was an audience in Bethesda, Maryland, who needed to see it at that national conference which was now less than four months away. Not to mention I’m the mother of two precious boys, so needless to say, I simply didn’t have time to be sick.
With the death of three whom I loved dearly and medical conditions of my own which could have caused me to forsake the book project, I often thought of the women in the book whom I had grown to love and respect so greatly. They knew nothing of my personal situation, as it was not an opportune time to share that with them. My focus was the five of them and telling their remarkable stories, so I couldn’t allow my personal issues to interfere. While three of them had been forced to give up the careers they loved due to Sjögren’s, my profession as a nurse was coming at me with a vengeance. I continued working my full-time job as a nurse case manager while writing the book, but it was definitely taking a toll on me, both physically and emotionally.
I had to remind myself that I had been blessed with good health compared to most people, and that I should be thankful to be able to continue working as an RN. What I sorely regretted was the timing of major changes on my job. Suffice it to say it was not the best time for me to go through the acquisition and transition from one company to another, multiplied by many organizational and managerial changes within the second company. There was an extremely grueling and exhausting 12-month period of drastic changes and unrest on my job, while my passion for writing was sustained only by the Lord during that time. Never had my patience been tested as greatly when I realized that I am a nurse by profession, author by passion, and storyteller by the grace of God.
Read the first part of the blog here.
Watch out for the succeeding installment of Betty Collier’s Xlibris Blog article.
Know more Xlibris authors on the Xlibris Blog and the Xlibris Indie Authors Roundup.
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